It is with great sadness and huge regret that I inform you all of Jonathan "Jonny" Inwood's departure from the Iron Man competition.

Jonny was a fun-loving person who cared very much for the health and saftey of his fellow Iron Men. Jonny would always hang around and lend a clammy hand whenever he could. It was very hard to get rid of Jonny, on many occasions people referred to him as "The human form of crabs". His tenacity in the face of adversity was a wonder to behold, and I'm certain that if he had been able, he would have seen the Iron Man competition through to it's cataclysmic end.

Jonny's chosen event was the 100m sprint. Due to his resignation, we have been forced to withdraw this event from the competition. Jonny is the automatic loser, with a grand total of 3 points. In a way, the pressure is off of those struggling at the lower echelons of the table, and for that we are eternally grateful.

Jonny had to leave us to move to Oxford. This is where he would be close to his loved one. He has found work and is said to be settling in well. Here's what the other competitors had to say of Jonny's withdrawal:

"Jonny's departure has made me feel worse than the time Jay caught me dipping my winkle in his tea. Jonny was to Iron Man what George Michael is to Hampstead Heath." - Christopher Light

"John is more 'Tin Man' than 'Iron Man', as he didn't have the heart to see it through to the end." - Ashford Mills

"Fair enough, Jonny has pulled out of this tournament because of a new job, but the fact that his event (my guaranteed win) has been cancelled has enraged me more than life itself! How could he do this? I'll tell you how: He's scare like a little child lost in Cambodia, he knows full well I would have officially owned him and emabrrassed him. He'd be so ashamed that he'd probably turn into what Bruno looks like on some days... A homeless man. You can probably tell that I'm just a tad annoyed by this, so let me sum it up in a simple phrase: Jonny, I hate you!" - Jonathan Joseph

"Jonny was my friend... The brother I never had... The imaginary friend I always wanted... And most of all? I like his hair... But not his voicebox." - Marc Haridimou

"Jonny's departure has left me empty inside... There is a black hole where my heart once sat, and it can only be filled by prescription drugs, Tesco Value Vodka and touching myself. He was the brother I never wanted. I hate his face." - Ian Dulley

"I love Jonny. Because of him I can't lose!" - Marc Connolly

Jonathan "Jonny" Inwood
Jan 2008 - Feb 2008